Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The environment does not need saving

This is going to be a rude post because when things get on my nerves like nerve endings, I get rude. It is just that simple.

And don’t you just hate it when all these good for nothing scientists, with the long lines of environ-activists in their wake, wasting our quality airtime warning us of an Armageddon because the earth is heating up. You surely must have seen them. They used to be only on TV and radio, and yes, in the newspapers too. Now they are on Twitter, they are on Facebook, on the blogs – in fact, they are on my nerves as I write this. The guys are everywhere.

And so I wonder, these guys who keep making noise that we switch off the electricity because we need to save the world, are not dead. They are alive, just like you and me. But they raise hell like the world is coming to an end tomorrow. They berate industrialisation, the one miracle without which they themselves would in this day and age still be living inside some anonymous cave in the middle of a jungle.

Recently, the fore-sighted head of state in Uganda proposed to give away a portion of the Mabira forest, a large fertile piece of land, so as to improve sugar production and help lower the spiralling costs on the market. But you can only guess what these useless fellows did. They went riotous on the streets of Kampala, killing a foreign national in the process, all because our visionary head of state had proposed a key solution to a looming economic crisis. Now the price of sugar is in the sky and the same people are complaining.

They want us to stop cutting down trees for charcoal. But hey, have I missed something here? Where on earth do they expect us to get fuel for cooking? Oh, they want us to buy gas, right! That is supposed to be cheaper and more affordable, right! Totally unfeeling, these environmenta-whatever they are called. They feel for trees but not for fellow human beings. We do not need trees. They grow out in the world by themselves. They do not even need us to save them. So please, cut the forest down and give me some cheap sugar.

When new shopping centres come up in town, even if they are to occupy just a little bit of wetland space, they scream like the wetland is part of their blood stream. Man depends on milk and bread. And sugar may be. Those are not sold in frog and snail infested wetlands. They are sold in glass building shopping malls like garden city. Besides, in a city setting, we do not need to here crocking toads while trying to finish off a billion-shilling deal over coffee.

They tell us that the earth is heating up. That the land mass is slowly sinking under the ever rising levels of the seas (thanks to heated ice blacks). And they expect us to give a hoot. By the way, I thought the more water, in liquid form, there was, then the better because, as they say, water bodies help create rainfall. Again, I think I am missing something here.

And they are good at sending warnings. So, you will see a report read like this. “In the year 2050, Uganda will have to import water because of global warming.” My! Who cares about the year 2050, or 2300? I can bet my shoe, no one wants to live past 100. So why give us nightmares? We will be dead in a few years time. All that scary stuff that they keep telling us just won’t affect us. No. Not in our lifetime. And hey, our kids will take care of themselves. Humanity is about surviving. They will get ways of surviving.

So instead of sitting there on your sorry selves, crying foul and making it look like we are sitting on a time bomb, do something worthwhile. Make yourself of use. Go build an industry in a wetland, a sugar cane farm in a forest, a shopping arcade in a wetland, a hydro power dam on the longest river, a collection of nightspots in the few green spaces in the capital, cut some trees and make some charcoal, drain all the fish from the seas, and help promote the cause of humanity. Self-destruction is, after all, what humanity is best experienced at doing. 


  1. "This is a clear modest proposal"
    I wonder what the tone of this post is....... Could be in some tone from someone I do not want to mention here.....

  2. oh, yes d baby, part of that was written with the "Modest Proposal" in mind. and what do you mean "someone you do not want to mention here"? you need a spanking, a very good spanking at that.

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